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Jim Allen
"If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much room." That was my uncle’s favourite quote, and he lived by that. He was always laughing and having a great time with his friends and family. Whether it was at his annual Christmas party, up at his cabin on Lake Muskoka, or even at work at Investors Group, he always had a smile on his face. He was a great man; everybody loved him and he loved everybody. Even his clients from work became fast friends, always inviting him for lunch or dinner or just a cup of coffee.
One thing I really remember fondly about him was his wink. If he winked, it could’ve meant "everything will work out fine," "be happy," or "I love you." But whatever it meant, it always made you feel special.
In December of 2001, he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease, also known as Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS). It’s a horrible disease. It causes your muscles to atrophy and eventually you’re unable to walk, eat, talk, or breathe. His disease started with muscle twitching and got progressively worse until he could no longer do what he normally could. My mom spent a lot of time over at his house, fixing him meals, helping him eat, whatever he needed at the time, and he was sure glad to have his "kid sister" helping him.
Even though he was plagued by this horrible disease, he still managed to crack jokes and make people laugh. Many people complain about sore throats, headaches, or stomach aches, but this disease is one hundred times worse than all of those combined, and he never complained. Not once.
On June 30, 2002, he left on a cruise he was determined to go on with his girlfriend and stepdaughter. He could barely breathe and he couldn’t walk. We all felt he shouldn’t be making this trip, but ultimately, it was his decision. He hated lying in his bed day after day. I remember being at his house that day, with my mom, dad, brother, aunts, and uncles, all preparing him for the big step ahead of him.
Shortly after noon, my brother and I went home. There was nothing left for us to do. The last-minute packing was done and everything was being loaded into the trunk of his girlfriend’s minivan. If I had known that it would be the last time I would ever see him, I never would have left.
I’ll always remember our last goodbye. I went into his room and over to the bed he was laying in and I said, "Bye, Uncle Jim. I’ll see you when you get home. Love you." And as I was walking out of his room, I looked back for one last glance, and he winked, signalling that everything would be okay. But this time, it wasn’t. I always thought I’d see him again, but I was wrong.
He was only on the cruise for a day or two before he went into the hospital in Monte Carlo because he couldn’t breathe. He passed away on July 12, 2002. He wished to be cremated and his ashes are spread in the place he loved most; Lake Muskoka.
On March 6, 2004, a team of Investors Group representatives from across Canada participated in "Climb for a Cure" to create awareness for the disease. They climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa and placed pictures there of loved ones who have died because of this dreadful disease which has no known cure. So there my uncle’s picture sits, atop the mountain, looking down on those he loved.
I will always cherish the memory of that last glance and the last wink he ever gave.
By: Mallory Doggett
*Note: Thank you Mallory for sharing with us your feelings and thoughts of your Uncle. All too soon this disease takes loved ones from us all, hopefully the Climb for a Cure will help end this devastation.
MGM
© ALS Independence 2003-10